KILL-JOY239

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? 

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

If youre not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ( i'm really not a vegetarian)

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. 

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The road to success is always under construction.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?