Something I would like to share and pray that someone will be touched and know that God is not through with them and HE IS ABLE!

I used to love making money fast, feeling that High in the back of my throat and the hustle of the lifestyle I was in. I am not sure how I got to that point in my life. It could have been since my virginity was snatched away from me at the age of five. It really didn't matter how many men touched me at least I was getting paid for it. We never know what path of life we will encounter especially if we have no foundation. I guess we look for foundations even though they are only temporary. Foundations can mean being with a pimp, having the needle as your friend or the crack pipe, being institutionalized or in homosexual relations. I can name more foundations but I will only speak about the ones that I have been involved in..

I know what it is like being a prisoner inside of prison and outside of prison within myself. *Feeling the thrusts of wire coat hangers twisted together across my back. The burning so indescribable, you cannot even cry. *I remember one time feeling warm and drifting away and suddenly coming to with a bunch of doctors working on me after getting stabbed and collapsing my lung. *I recall standing in a doorway with gratification, watching a man get beat down with a baseball bat because he had raped me with a very large knife to my neck. I am not sure if he lived. I had to let him know why this was happening to him. *I can still feel the mixed emotions of fear and survival when I jumped out of that car going up into the mountains. He said he was a cop. I told him he would have to shoot me then I jumped out of the car. He kept going. Those were the days of the Hillside Strangler.

*I was sitting on a rock near the ocean writing a poem and somewhere, everything went blank. I was really alone at my apartment in Hollywood snorting my cannabinol and smoking PCP. My pimp came in and threw me into the shower and tried to get me back to reality.

There are so many other situations, 2 years in prison I can share. I am most compelled to share the one great change in my life verses telling you all of the down parts of my life.

The greatest thing in my life is Love. Someone loved me so much that He pulled me out of fear, confusion and low self-esteem. He loved me so so much that He gave His only son's life up for me. Me, a person of no worth but He still loved me!

He is my father, God!

I did attempt to get out of the life a few times. The one time I got stabbed. I just couldn't go up against Billy Joe Satan aka Sweets. It was a different story when I had Jesus backing me up. I was able to say "NO MORE" to my pimp with my back to him. I had no fear. That man walked out of the room and that foundation was gone forever. Saying all that is to say, with God all things are possible.

And He Loves You Too!!

JOHN 3:16- For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (Jesus), that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.


You may ask, "Why do I share this with you?" BECAUSE I know if God can help and save a person like me.. then he definitely can be there for you. He is waiting with love.. just ask Him to come into your life!


Here are some scriptures that you can refer to in trying times.

PEACE ~ Isaiah 54:10
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

ANGER ~ Psalm 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

COMFORT ~ Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Forgiveness ~ Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

FAITH ~ Mark 11:22-23
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him."

HEALING ~ Jeremiah 30:17
"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds," declares the LORD.

HOPE ~ Psalms 39:7
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."
~ Psalms 3:3
But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory. And the lifter up of my head!

FEAR ~ Isaiah 41:10
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."