MY OUTLOOK ON METAL:
It kicks ass!!!

GENRES THAT BLOW WALRUS BONERS ON A DAILY BASIS(and a short synopsis of why)

-tru kvlt black metal - sewing machines and cardboard boxes for instruments, cell phone as a recording studio, tasmanian devils fighting over a carcass for vocalists; grow up with the lyrics, no one cares that you hate christianity, you sound like fucking emos, get over it and move on to something important; learn something besides a blast beat for God's sake; and cut the "glorifying nature" bullshit, if you really glorified nature, you wouldn't have burned down or support the burning down of churches b/c that's just that many more trees out of your "precious" forest that have to be cut down to rebuild them. MORONS!!!!

-pornogrind - vocalists sound like they are slurping the last bit of liquid out of a cup with a straw while taking a noisy shit; instruments aren't bad at all, lyrics are fucking funny

-pop punk - brainwashes people so that they can't classify music genres; goes against EVERYTHING that real punk stands for

-rap - ALL rap = annoying and repetitive as hell; MAINSTREAM rap = grow up with the lyrics, use instruments once in a while; its ok to use a different beat than the others

-emotronic - WTF??? mere words cannot describe the horridness of this crap

-Hello Kitty Suicide Club - Once again, there are no words to describe this atrocity to music and to noises in general. I mean, if you're low enough to be an insult to noise itself, why do you exist???

-deathcore - Y'all needs ta leeeve da pig squeeeeling to them thar inbred hilbillies

-drone metal - ......LOL WUT?

-noisegrind - it's like tru kvlt black metal but 10,000X worse; lyrics & song titles = hilarious

-country - INNOVATE!!!! (it's ok as background music at parties but that's about it)

-"Disney" music - the demise of western civilization

- Musical talent is not in the eye of the beholder, it is something that should be universally recognized regardless of whether or not you like the band or musician's music.

-Changing music style is not the same thing as selling out; selling out is changing music style to get radio play and make more money.
COB - not sellouts
Dimmu Borgir - not sellouts
Cradle of Filth - IDC, I hate Dani's voice anyway
Metallica - only St. Anger was a sellout album
In Flames - undecided

-Dream Theater is the only band I know of that tried to write music to appeal to radio but was unable to do so, if that is not proof of their talent, idk what is.

-Metalcore and Deathcore are not poser genres, but do spawn many poser fans

Lamb of God - not metalcore
Shadows Fall - Only Threads of life is metalcore
Mastodon - not metalcore, um, not even close
Chimaira - not metalcore
Arch Enemy - not metalcore (yes I've actually seen this), again, they aren't even close
Black Dahlia Murder - not metal/deathcore
In Flames - metalcore (since reroute to remain), and my favorite metalcore band
Divine Heresy - not metalcore

-Necrophagist do not suck, but are more repetitive than people say dragonforce is, and they are way overplayed and overrated on this site, thus I am hereby renouncing my like of them

-Opeth is straight up Prog metal, the only relation to death metal is Mikael's vocals, NONE of the instrumental parts or lyrics are even close to death metal. The music in To Mera and some Nevermore is much closer to death metal than Opeth.

-I reserve the right to have a total fanboy attitude toward any band I listen to and I will use it upon provocation to do so, but unless I truly hate u(highly unlikely since this IS the internet), please understand it is [mostly] for laughs.

-Guitar Hero needs to grow some balls and release the "Pure Fucking Metal" edition!! Screw all the gay crap they throw on there!!!!

GOOD BANDS I'VE SEEN LIVE:

Dream Theater (2X)
Symphony X (3X)
Nevermore
Iron Maiden
Megadeth (2X)
Children of Bodom
Nightwish
Epica (without Simone) :(
In Flames (2X)
Arch Enemy
Black Label Society
Black Sabbath
Shadows Fall
Into Eternity (2X)
Echoes of Eternity
Killswitch Engage
Mudvayne
Trapt (2X)
Nickelback (2X)
3 Doors Down
3 Days Grace (2X)

COMING SOON *hopefully*:
Nightwish, Sonata Arctica, Kamelot