Sorry for the crap audio (partially due to crap singing/guitar playing)
Jonathan Coulto
Sorry for the crap audio (partially due to crap singing/guitar playing)
Jonathan Coulton's Re: Your Brains - from the terrified human coworker perspective.
SING ALONG! :
Heya Bob, it's Tom.. from the office up the hall...
You look kinda bloody - where've you been?
Quick question Bob, you know how Zombies tend to feed on human brains?
Well, you got some on your chin.
Bob I know your sex appeal has never been that grand -
But I can tell that things have worsened since the marching band.
Cause I can see right through,
That shotgun blast sized hole in you.
All you wanna do is eat my brains.
Which is understandable, I guess, they are a little oversized.
All you wanna do is eat my brains.
I'll probably starve in here, maybe we should compromise.
I would open up the doors,
If you would only eat half of my brains.
I don't wanna lecture, Bob, but is this really your plan?
Spend your whole undeath eating out of skulls?
Every time you eat some brains you make another zombie friend,
And you have to feed them all.
Each would share the hunger, so the portions would decrease,
I suggest you substitute my brains for some ground beef.
They look about the same,
Bob it'd be a shame if
All you wanna do is eat my brains.
But it's understandable, I guess, they are a little oversized.
All you wanna do is eat my brains.
I'll probably starve in here, maybe we should compromise.
I would open up the doors,
If you would only eat part of my brains.
I'd like to help you Bob, in almost any way I can...
As long as helping you does not prove to be deadly.
We're only human, Bob. Well, not we, but me.
Speak for myself...
I'm getting kinda choked up, Bob, maybe we should call a truce.
And I know we both could use some chow.
I bet I could look around and find a grill somewhere in all these stores,
and I could cook us up some cow.
It's hard to tell if you just made a grimace or a grin.
Either way your smell alone is causing me chagrin,
And filling me with dread,
You haven't heard a word I've said, cause..
All you wanna do is eat my brains.
It's understandable, I guess, they are a little oversized.
All you wanna do is eat my brains.
I'll probably starve in here, maybe we should compromise.
I would open up the doors,
If you would only eat none of my brains.
http://www.tobyturner.com
http://www.jonathancoulton.com
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Added: 6 months ago
Views: 5,100
A poem about my father's theory on labeling keys, how everything should be clearly marked
A poem about my father's theory on labeling keys, how everything should be clearly marked except the keys to valuable things that would interest thieves. Filmed at the Bowery Poetry Club on 11/12/2005 as part of a reading with Billy Collins.
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Worldwide one of a kind, the Vegetable Orchestra performs on instruments made of fresh veg
Worldwide one of a kind, the Vegetable Orchestra performs on instruments made of fresh vegetables. The utilization of various ever refined vegetable instruments creates a musically and aesthetically unique sound universe.
http://www.vegetableorchestra.org
----- december 4th, 2007:
wow, were are really amazed about the flood of comments in the last hours. so thank you all for your kind and unkind comments. we really appreciated that! sorry that we can not answer all... it's just too much!
just one word to all the people who are concerned about people dying of starvation:
we are concerned too. but not doing this project does change nothing. it doesn't make the world a better place.
if you are really concerned about the distribution of wealth then do something about it! read books about the real cause of hunger. talk with your friends and family about it. change your own life and try to change politics. buy and support the right things. it is not people using vegetables differently than usual that make the world a bad place. it's all of us wanting too much. our own car, a new cellphone, a bigger house with air condition, more money...
sending the vegetables to africa does not help. on the contrary it destroys the markets there, so people can not sell their own produce, because the imported one is too cheap.
and by the way: people have used vegetables for music for centuries. also in africa.
----- december 5th, 2007:
sorry, we had to disable commenting temporarily. it's way too much to handle at the moment. thank you all nevertheless!
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Added: 1 year ago
Views: 1,761,014
Make your mark? No make a gash. Heavy Metal Hamlet.
Monologue from Korean Badass, Stevi
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Monologue from Korean Badass, Stevie Lee Saxon's hell-for-leather solo performance
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Added: 11 months ago
Views: 535
A tribute to the heroes of the AMPTP, who continue to soldier on in the face of almost uni
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Bad Reputaion (Video Version) by Freedy Johnston
(c) 1994 Elektra Entertainment, a divisio
Bad Reputaion (Video Version) by Freedy Johnston
(c) 1994 Elektra Entertainment, a division of Warner Communications Inc. for the United Sates and WEA International Inc. for the world outside of the United States.
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I revised the video a little bit by editing the audio and adding some intro/outro titles.
I revised the video a little bit by editing the audio and adding some intro/outro titles.
You can download this video at 640 x 480 resolution. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=l9d20yem
click on the link I added in the video description type the 3 letter code that they give you towards the top right of your screen and click download. Now you have to wait 45 seconds, you can see the timer counting down, after that click download
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Added: 11 months ago
Views: 192,945
Stranger Things is the first dramatic science-fiction anthology series shot in high defini
Stranger Things is the first dramatic science-fiction anthology series shot in high definition and digitally-syndicated through the Internet, preceding even the big-budgeted Sanctuary and ABC's Masters of Sci-Fi. In Stranger Things ordinary people stumble into the secret lives of the paranormal, the metaphysical, the unnatural, and the strange. The stories expose the bizarre and the extraordinary things happening all around us everyday, hidden behind the veil of the "real world."
www.StrangerThings.tv
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Added: 8 months ago
Views: 2,628
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