Alex commissioned this video to highlight his acting and presentation skills. He wanted to
Alex commissioned this video to highlight his acting and presentation skills. He wanted to produce something which had the potential of being used by his special needs school and other educational establishments to promote an awareness of the issues faced by disabled people in everyday life and offer a degree of hope to those most affected. It became something of a small crusade for us both and the resulting film was screened in its intended environment to great acclaim. Alex was also hoping to become involved with the "Scope" poster campaign and the video was also sent to the charity with this intention.
It is an intense, poetic, lyrical drama on what it means to live with severe cerebral palsy in today's age. Imagine "My left foot" filtered through the pen of Wilfred Owen, the lens of Terrence Malick and musical melancholy of Rachmaninov and you are some way close to imagining the effect I wanted to created.
I decided poetry would best serve the dreamlike atmosphere I was going to create. We sat down and discussed the areas of his life to cover and those to leave out. This was a difficult and demanding process, but we got there in the end with a bit of gentle creative anger and even a few tears. It seemed logical to represent disability head on and really give the audience a feeling of what it is like to be in his shoes. Therefore we open with an "attack" (during which the muscles of the body lock). This is expanded into what he may be thinking whilst lying on the floor. Thoughts of his school days, the recent loss of his father and even flying through the air are explored with sensitivity and depth. It ends on a positive note, as it should.
After scripting and photography I set about the pretty large task of writing the music score. This is another skill I have acquired. Copyright music was obviously going to be far too expensive to use. I wanted a full orchestral score, which I was able to achieve with the miracle of modern synthesiser technology. I have accumulated a lot of equipment over the years, including a Roland Synthesiser. I simply needed to buy a plug in sound card containing very realistic samples and multi track, playing each instrument's part separately. I am very pleased with the result.
I felt I didn't want to subtitle the film as it would have been condescending to Alex. Should you have any problems understanding it, the full screenplay is printed below.
This work is presented in it's original 1.78 aspect ratio, anamorphically squeezed for the highest quality available. If you are viewing on a wide screen monitor please select 16x9 mode to "unsqueeze" the film to it's correct aspect ratio.
SCREENPLAY
I lay here in vain Trapped in the sanctity of pain Every muscle locked in spasm Far away a microcosm Bustling outside, here I have to lie
Is there anyone at all? If I can move to make a call A friendly voice, a velvet calm To carry me through this alarm How typical, it's just my style I've only one on autodial
But, Mum is gone, my only wager For a week in central Asia Dad, why did you move away? To cast a shadow on my day Now alas, it's far too late I said they shouldn't operate
If God is love I can't condone That many friends have turned to stone I only feel their hearts engrave The spirit of this sorry slave Years of special education Only shroud imagination
Every time I'm high on pain I creep toward a sorry gain The need to free the cloying grasp Of nature's hold, and from my past I really need to re-unite My sorry friends on wings of flight
I'll spurn this hell and really soar To leave my shell upon the floor Through the air I'll fly away To free the shackles of my day Burying my medication In a breeze of exaltation
But stop, before I drown in fear Is my world so bad down here? Many different ways to fly Upon this earth, without the sky When finally I gain remission In the freedom of ignition
Standing at the phantom bar Looking close but feeling far Walking land but treading air Because I'm never really there Drowning in the giddy heights In the midst of neon lights It's fair to be a little pissed When no one sees that you exist
Cheer up lad, been here before Missed the step to strike the floor Dancing down a one way street That ends just as you loose the beat Feeling proud and standing tall As the writing hits the wall Then I smile to face the day In my own habitual way
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