Welcome!
Breakfast will be Mockingbird Pate on Toast or a bowl of Conspiracy Nuts served with Soya Milk.
At 11 we meet for our daily health booster injections. Attendance is mandatory.
For lunch a platter of Confusion, Fear and Chips garnished in Cloverleaf, or why not try the healthy option, a Rocketfeller Salad drizzled with Barium.
This afternoons entertainment will be brought to you by the OTO and we will be handing out free drugs. Now for the evening meal, scheduled for a little after ten past eight. Starter is Soup Dis'order and a little plague, with a main course of Smoked Sermon in Bluebeam Sauce, followed by Sticky Guilt Pudding (there's plenty for everyone) before you will be Spirited Away to meet your maker!
Guns and Knives will be for sale throughout the day at the Jihad Counter near the Exit. And we have taken the trouble to write sex all over everything - just to add to the fun! And to show how much your having a good time means to us.
Enjoy your stay.