Peel The Onion

Hello World, 

Former Christian (35 years) and have since deconstructed from the faith.  Doing so wasn't desired, sought, fun, or preferred.  Tbh, it was the hardest 3-4 years of my life unraveling the web of Christian history and biblical contradictions in my search to know God better and what he wanted for/from me.  I was actively witnessing, attempting to win souls for Christ. It was through this process that I was introduced to so many ideas, literature, and philosophy.  As most Christians do, my knee jerk reaction was "No, that's not right..you just don't understand scriptures."  The more I peeled the more layers I found.  I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me cry.  Prayers, tears, deep bible reading with commentaries and much more.  God "answered my prayers", but it was by no means the answer I was expecting to get.  It took me about 3 years to finally verbalize "I am no longer a Christian".   So here I am, sharing all the items I wish someone told me sooner.