This is a Story

When he is not missing, John reportedly makes long-form video essays and documentaries. More on the "missing" part below.

John is a self-recognized film person who sometimes has interesting things to say and sometimes does not. He currently lives in a small cubby, which he finds soothing and peaceful. He began his career as a door-to-door salesman, a job which he found increasingly too exciting and promptly quit after a particularly daring incident with a ferret. You can sometimes find John on the Today Show, where he likes to stand behind the glass and hold a sign which reads, “Hi, Mr. Roker.” He is currently missing, having gone up in a hot air balloon, never to return. If you have information on him, please don’t.